I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
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I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
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The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
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