the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
