Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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