And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Boobs speak an international language.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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