we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
