Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
