Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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