Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
