He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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