In America we eat man semen.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
