Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Randomize
