need another drink. this is the easiest way
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think my moral compass just broke
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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