I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
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