Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
