Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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