I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
