Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
