trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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