i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
