so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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