She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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