Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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