Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
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