They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
