So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
