he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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