Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
