don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
