I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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