Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
