someone threw a dead crab at me
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Randomize
