I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
