i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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