Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
