i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
