Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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