Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
