it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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