How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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