tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Randomize
