Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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