Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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