when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize
