im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
