marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Randomize
