o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
