Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
