i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
