Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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