HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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