I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
