So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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