hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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