I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
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