your thong is hanging out like whoa
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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