yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
