How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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