Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize