I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
