you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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