Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
