is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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