You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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