just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
