I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
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