I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
