Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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