She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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