Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Randomize
