We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
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